Enjoy this funny piece imagining the lament of the BCS computers.

Somehow I missed this hilarious Lost Ogle post in July.  You'll giggle along if you havne't seen it already.

I still want to know if I'm mentioned in her book.

Comic writer Albert Brooks imagines what would have happened throughout history if it was standard practice for Speakers of the House to rebut presidential speeches.  What would have been the rebuttals of famous words from Lincoln, Roosevelt, Kennedy, etc.?  This one was my favourite:

Ronald Reagan: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall."

Tip O'Neil, speaker of the House, from his speech following the president: "Is Ronald Reagan really asking the Soviets to do the work that the United States should have been doing for decades? That is the problem with this country. We have to ask our enemy to do the heavy lifting. Can we not tear down this wall ourselves? The America I grew up in certainly could have, and I would like to return us to that era. What are we going to ask the Soviets to do next, cook us our dinner?"

At the train station at Orvieto the pay toilets were outside.  They were basically portable, plastic-encased toilets.  Though, unlike the typical thing you might see at a festival or concert, these were very elaborate and full electronic.  Once you paid, the door would slide open and it was big enough to accomodate a wheel chair (or multiple people really).  The door opening was very wide.  Inside were all sorts of amenities one wouldn't find in a normal portable toilet.  It was rather nice.  Once you were done with your business, you pushed a button and the door slid open again. 

Now, I have to admit that the instructions and all were a little odd to get used to, but I went to the bathroom without incident. . .

But as I walked out of my toilet, the one next to me had a malfunction.  Its door slid open while it was still occupied by this American woman.  And she started screaming.

Fortunately I didn't have to walk past the opening and the toilets were way down at the end of the track, so no one was around to see anything.  Her husband/boyfriend was a ways down the track and I don't think he could hear her, but after her initial scream, she started yelling "Freddie!!!!!  Freddie!!!!  Freddie!!!!!" 

Freddie looked younger than she was and looked like a Freddie, I thought.  I couldn't tell if he didn't hear her or was just choosing to ignore her.  I was laughing out loud as I walked back down the track and passed him.

Eventually she came storming out of the bathroom yelling some more "Freddie!!!  The door came open!  Freddie!!!!"

Needless to say the rest of the trip and since then, every once in a while, I'll yell at Michael, "Freddie!!!!"

Don't miss the second bathroom story, which I shall soon post as well . . .

. . . but the first story ocurred in Naples Central Train Station on the day we travelled from Sorrento via Naples and Orvieto to Florence. 

As with many public toilets in Europe, the toilets at the train station cost.  In this case 1 euro, which is, admittedly, higher than most.   The trade-off of a pay toilet, of course, is that the attendant is on-hand and the bathrooms are kept very clean.  A downside is that toilets are not as ubiquitous in Europe as they are in the U. S.  But think of all those awful public toilets you've ever used.

Another interesting thing to note, in many Italian cities there are fountains of fresh water.  So, in Italy they are very hospitable about providing places for you to drink, and skimpy in providing places for you to piss.  In America we let you piss for free, but you have to pay to drink.

Michael and I each paid the euro and went to the bathroom.  This particular bathroom had something akin to the gates that might enter into a metro, so it was funny, while I was waiting on Michael, to watch folk who were struggling to figure out how to get in and then realizing they needed to pay and then trying to figure out where to insert the coin, etc.  It wasn't really that difficult, but a handful of people had issues.

Then the couple from New Jersey (it sounded like) came walking down the hall looking for the bathroom.  The guy, who had a mustache, saw the gates and the price and said, rather loudly and in a stereotypically American fashion, "One euro!  That's too much.  No way.  One euro!"  And kept going on .

The girlfriend quite clearly wanted to go to the bathroom and was willing to pay, but he would have none of it.  He insisted that they walk back to the restaurant where they had had lunch -- someplace outside the train station -- and go to the bathroom there.  Though I could not hear her speaking, I think she must have indicated in some gentle way that this was not a good idea, and he went off again, loudly, about the price and having to pay.

By this time I'm giggling, which they didn't see or hear, but I'm sure it would have made him flair up even more.

They walked back down the hall and then a moment later I heard him going off again, "One euro!  I can't believe you are going to pay that."  Clearly she had put her foot down that she was going to go to the restroom, no matter the cost.  So, he watched over the luggage and she came to the ticket gate, but the entire time he was still yelling about the price and how ridiculous it was and that she should wait.  I really felt sorry for her.

And then he stewed the entire time she was in the bathroom. 

Pride!

Oh this is too funny.

One of my favourites, and one that fits me too well:

"I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." --Prince Philip

It is from Alice Munro's short story "Oranges and Apples."

He had taken some sociology courses, because he had hoped at one time to become a United Church minister.

These photos are funny.

A group recently calculated what was the most boring day since January 1, 1900 -- I guess having the least interesting and significant events.  The date is April 11, 1954.  The Daily Oklahoman did a fun article on what happened in Oklahoma that day, and followed up with the folk featured on the cover of the paper that day.